It can’t happen until one is finally equipped to deal with it.
That’s always when it happens; no sooner and no later.
It had to be built up to, because of the terror that strikes each time the thought presents itself, convinced one could never survive the change.
But like a hot bath or a cold pool, one first steps a toe into the idea, then shudders or shivers.
Slowly warming up to the idea, seeing its benefit and knowing its for the best.
Still, because the thought has hung so terrifyingly overhead for so long, acceptance has to approach slowly.
Then one day, one wakes up, heart stronger and mind finally clear enough.
In what feels like a soft miracle, the strength to take the leap is there, like it always was, buried beneath one’s defenses.
One finds the fortitude to change one’s view of this world, and that begins to change the whole world indeed.
It’s like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, as is nature’s plan for all who crawl the earth.
The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly by resolving to be a better caterpillar, by growing fuzzier or inching faster.
Rather, it resolves to finally give up its caterpillar ways and forgoes its foregone caterpillar conclusions.
By wrapping itself into silk and silence, it sheds its old skin, then waits, prays, rests, breathes, trusts, knows and finally abandons its caterpillar self.
Then, at the perfect time, it emerges from its incubating cocoon, and is reborn.
It is a brand new creature that can now see the world in a whole new butterfly way.
One cannot move into the next stage of inevitable growth until one is finally willing to set aside the fleshly form of the old, and surrender to the complete metamorphosis that always and only comes in its own due time.
Being Claudia Theodore 